No matter how sincere the intention, it is very difficult to stop abuse without counseling. Many abusers grew up in violent homes and were themselves abused. Many witnessed their parents physically hurting one another. Violent behavior may be the only way they know to deal with their relationships. Before the pattern of violence in your relationship can be stopped, your abuser must understand the behavior. This is why the Domestic Violence Unit insists that abusers complete a certified batterer’s treatment program. Alcohol and drugs are frequently present during violence, but the reason the person is abusing you is separate from the reason they drink and abuse drugs. The abuse will continue even though sober unless the abuser deals with the reasons for the violence. If your abuser resists the counseling available, chances are the behavior is not going to change. If this abusive behavior does not change, you are in danger!
Violence in the home also causes a great deal of turmoil for children who feel emotional pain such as guilt, shame, and fear even if they themselves are not physically abused.
Children who witness domestic violence are at risk for serious and long-range effects, including depression and low self esteem, which may affect school performance and success in other areas later in life. Tragically, without a great deal of support and without a stop to the violence they witness, these children are likely to repeat the cycle of violence in their relationships as adults, either as batterers or as victims.